Friday, October 25, 2013

Serving

you take your first job
and you’re on time the first day
and then you start to show up late
and your boss,
a bad man who’s going bald,
begins asking
why you’re always touching your face
and corners you
asking why your hands are always dry
when you leave the bathroom.
but after a few months
the coworker with the ass
has ridden in your car
and you’re relaxed
and smooth while taking orders.
the job has become second nature
and at the end of your shift
you begin taking boxes of beer
out the back.
because when you’re serving,
you're always a few pegs removed
from the bigger things,
the responsibility
the top
so it makes good sense 
to get fired
and get the hell out of there.

it’s not logical,
once you’ve been a server,
ever to be one again.

but if you're the type that's accustomed 
to pretending to wash your hands
and taking boxes of beer 
out the back, 
you'll find
it’s not exactly logical 
doing anything else 
either.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

On Being Tiny

after a sleepless night of sin
i watched this fellow
named
neal degrasse tyson
break open the universe and lay it out square.

he wasn’t like the dapper and spectacled atom bombers
who shouldn’t even have been allowed to die,
or the big, genial, contemporary geniuses,
the Hawkings and Dawkins,
who write books.

nothing could be worse.
with neal it was simple. 
he said

the three most abundant elements in the universe
are the three most abundant elements in the human body.
they exist in the same proportions.
carbon, which is number three
can make more molecules and chemicals 
than all the other elements combined.
numbers two and one are
oxygen and hydrogen.
blah blah blah, but you have to know
where the elements come from. 
it's those giant melting pots: the stars.

as the commercials came on
i started thinking differently about space
and ever since
night has been distressing
not because we are so far away from everything else,
but because we are already everywhere.
this, neal said, 
should give us a sense of belonging.

well fuck me, i thought, and turned off the tv.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

In the End

“What’s the end of the Old Testament?”
“What do you mean?”
The woman brought her leg up onto the couch. “I mean I haven’t read it.”
The man nodded seriously.
“I know the New Testament is all Jesus,” she said. “The Old Testament is Moses and Genesis. But what comes at the end of the Old Testament?"
The man’s eyes went up to the ceiling and sat still. The woman leaned forward, drank some wine, and then placed the glass back on a see-though coffee table. “I don’t know!” the man blurted out and they both laughed.
Then he talked about his upbringing as a Unitarian Universalist. It was a very liberal upbringing with a focus on social justice and tangible human values. He liked black people. He was totally comfortable with anything. And on and on. And then she said the same things back to him in a different way so he would see that he that wasn’t any smarter than her. There was lots of enthusiastic head nodding.
The woman thanked the man for dinner. They both said goodnight. The door closed and the man’s apartment became normal again. It was still too early to sleep. He tried to read. He poured a glass of wine. He wished he’d kissed her. But nothing matters.

Sunday, October 6, 2013