Saturday, February 4, 2012
Homelessness
The form of man sits with arms hung around himself. Holding to the street the constructions of all things Man. There is nothing there that has been not been placed. It walks along the street towards some train tracks. There are trains and cars, people with their arms hanging out horse joint drunk. “Offa ma laaaawn.” Sent away fasting from some townships. God only hiding: cutting what is not food from food, bringing few crumbles, cutting for the cutting, making the day faint. He is certain in hiding two things from us: oil and floating; in parking lots oil sinks under water: tires: rises.
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There is a great quality to the piece in dehumanizing the speaker. It is done in a very consistent way except for in the last sentence. The last sentence could actually find a way to remove the “he” and make that absence of humanity present throughout. With that said, this is a very strong piece. It grasps the vulgar with “Offa ma laaawn” but also the philosophical with “Holiding to the street the constructions of all things Man.” The balance, or better, the contrast of this piece works well in establishing a greater understanding and concept of what the poem is actually about.
So, at first I was reading this and understanding it, and then I got lost. And then, as per Cha Cha's suggestion I read it aloud, and it really is worth it.
I suppose if you meant for it to not be read aloud it would need some filling to create a piece that is less striated thoughts and more smooth.
There's a sort of fragmented progression here that works really well to create a mood of desolation. It's almost like blues in a way, though that might just be the voice I read this in.
This reminds me of Tom Waits. he is crazy.
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